Just Ignore what I'm saying....

I'm just mumbling right here...
don't need to read this...huhu...

Have u ever felt that you are not belong to the community?
Have u ever felt that you are not part of them?
Have u ever felt that u are being discriminate?
I feel that...
and it's really hurts me...I can feel the pain...
Is the situation really exist or that's just because I'm too sensitive?

I'm really tired....
tired of taking care of their feelings...
But, mine? They are not even care my feeling...

I'm really tired....
tired of trying my best to mingle with them....
tired of trying to understand them...
but, in return they not even understand me...

I'm really tired...
tired of being a friend to them...
It seems to be I have a lot of friends..
But, actually I'm nobody to them...

I'm really tired...
tired of holding back my anger....
but they are too easy to express their anger to me...

I'm really tired...
tired of being careful with my words...
but, they are too easy to say anything to me...

I'm really tired...
tired of trying to cooperate with them....
but, they accept me just like they are forced to....

I'm really tired....
tired of holding back my tears...
i'm always keep the feeling in myself....
the feelings mix together inside of me....
then when it comes to the peak, it burst and I can't control it anymore...
I'm crying all day without any reason...

Suddenly, I found this sentence....
"Whenever you feel sad and down, and nobody count your tears, Allah knows..Allah knows...."
Then, I remember that "InnAllaha ma'asobirin"( Allah will always be with people who patient)...
oh, my Lord please help n guide me to be strong and patient towards what You have given me...
Ya Allah, the Most Merciful and Most Compassionate....
thanks bcoz You give me this test, bcoz from here, I've learnt many things about life...

Then, my phone rang this morning and I heard the voice that I really miss....my mom called me!
I felt so relieved... even I wasn't tell her my problems, but talking to her makes me feel like burden that I'm carrying dissappeared!

thanks to ima, yana n kak fatin...you all always in my side whenever I need someone to talk to....
sorry to anybody if I've hurt you...
I'm not dedicated this to anyone, but to myself back.....

Now, I need to stand again... although I still can feel the pain...just let time cure it...
GANBATTE!!